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Toxic In-Laws: Loving Strategies for Protecting Your Marriage, by Susan Forward
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From the Back Cover
Susan Forward's practical and powerful book will help couples cope with terrible and toxic in–laws.Toxic in–laws are in–laws who create genuine chaos through various assaults––aggressive or subtle––on you and your marriage. Toxic–in laws come in a wide variety of guises, " The Critics.; ", who tell you what you're doing wrong, "The Controllers.;", who try to run you and your partner's life, " The Engulfers.;", who make incessant demands on your time, " The Masters of Chaos.;", who drain you and your partner with their problems, and, " The Rejecters.;", who let you know they don't want you as part of their family. Susan Forward draws on real–life voices and stories of both women and men struggling to free themselves from the frustrating, hurtful and infuriating relationships with their toxic in–laws. Dr. Forward offers you highly effective communication and behavioral techniques for getting through to partners who won't or can't stand up to their parents. Next, she lays out accessible and practical ways to reclaim you marriage from your in–laws. She shows you what to say, what to do and what limits to set. If you follow these strategies, you may not turn toxic in–laws into the in–laws of your dreams, but you will find some peace in your relationship with them.
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About the Author
Susan Forward, PhD, is an internationally renowned therapist, lecturer, and author. Her books include the number-one New York Times bestsellers Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them and Toxic Parents. In addition to her private practice, she has served as a therapist, instructor, and consultant in numerous Southern California psychiatric and medical facilities.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Harper Perennial; Reprint edition (October 15, 2002)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0060507853
ISBN-13: 978-0060507855
Product Dimensions:
6.1 x 0.8 x 9.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
145 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#46,962 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
So many times boundaries were crossed from my inlaws and continue to but I have not known what to do in hope to prevent permanently damaging my relationship with them and theirs with their son (my husband) I bought this book! My inlaws marriage and the disfunction of their family is totally different then mine and there's a cultural difference as well not much but enough to see the difference... they have manipulated my husband and much criticized everything being my fault, we are treated like our family isn't worthy enough to invite over, they complain we live too far for them even see their own grandchildren 25-30min, sometimes my father in law has seen he children alone, my brother in laws look at me and my husband uncomfortably and it's just plain weird and disrespectful, considering no one else treats us with such a negative snobby like attitude, really it's because my husbands step mother is overly critical even states she's happy she never had a girl thank god and causes arguments with my father in law if he doesn't side with her about her viewpoint of me and she cries on command which I don't so then I feel like I've suddenly lost the battle if I even try to defend myself! Every relationship and relationships/scenarios with our inlaws are all different, but this book sure brings some comfort in knowing that you can gain that part of your life back without losing your marriage even if your spouse just doesn't get it. My husband is a good man but he has many times tried to just get me to accept continuously be hurt emotionally from them that I can't even eat in peace when I'm around them bc I feel like I'm being watched like a hawk for any little thing. I'm not much of a book worm but I am finding this book has so much in common with my life that I can't wait to finish it I hope it helps me be able to defend myself as a mother without sacrificing my dignity and self respect, giving me good advise to have a backbone and finally draw some boundaries to stop the emotional damage it's doing to me and my marriage.
3 years into a marriage with a man I loved more than anything and I couldn't understand how his family was still such a point of contention. This book addresses the personality types of deceitful and manipulative people, so rather than you as a spouse pointing a finger, your spouse is able to read from a third party what personality traits are healthy and which are toxic. The title is a little harsh, but the lessons on how to address these characters in the family TOGETHER was by far the most important part. As the book says, in law problems are marriage problems. I so so so highly recommend this book if you feel like you can't win, like you hold your tongue around your spouse's family, or if you are so tired of your spouse not understanding how difficult the people in his/her family are to you. Read this book together!! It's a game changer.
Great book. I only wish I had read it 15 years ago as it seemed like the author was writing about my in laws and the absolutely devastating affect they had on our lives. Although, ironically, I'm not sure I would have appreciated it as much had we not so tragically suffered as a result of their toxicity. Family of origin issues can make a person, especially a child, vulnerable to the world's evil, regardless of their age, and "Toxic-In-Laws" are perhaps the single biggest cause of this vulnerability because they were "toxic parents" long before they became toxic-in-laws. If you even suspect this to be the case in your marriage use this book as guide to fix it immediately because, trust me, left challenged, they can have devastating consequences.
Excellent and helpful book. I'm a grandmother so I bought it to avoid being the toxic in-law. Good advice on dealing with difficult family members without starting a World War. Also good way to analyze your own response and whether it is helping or hurtung.Has the added benefit of being short and to the point.
Susan Forward's books are always well written and this one is no exception. You'll recognize some of your in-laws if there's dysfunction in the family you married into and be offered ways to disengage effectively so their impact on your life is minimized.
This book has been helping my marriage it's absolutely a lifesaver. My husband now is starting to see how toxic his parents are thank God. It's a must buy .
Really good book. Will not help you fix your relationship but definitely explain and help you deal with the situation. It's more a "how to survive" than "how to fix" type of book.
Really great book. I bought this more for dealing with my sister in law, and its still applicable. I recommend this to anyone who has trouble understanding why their inlaws do what they do!
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