Download The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes, by William Ury
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The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes, by William Ury
Download The Power of a Positive No: How to Say No and Still Get to Yes, by William Ury
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I found this book by William Ury to be as groundbreaking and revolutionary as Ury's blockbuster hit "Getting to Yes." Ury makes the critical point that is better to say no than to accept a bad deal that will inevitably lead to future conflict. The best way to say no is thoroughly explored in this book and it is worth the time to read since saying no is such a sensitive subject to most relationships.The Ury approach is to first articulate your needs, i.e. your yes, and to be able to explain how your needs are not being met by the bad deal. The next step is to say no is a way that is emphatic and to stick to your no so as not to cave to the other side's pressure. Finally, you then make a counter-proposal, i.e. your "yes," so as to preserve and continue the relationship. This "yes, no, yes" approach may sound simple but it is not.Ury's books have been referred to me by several law professor over the years as part of my legal training. I have found Ury's books eminently practical yet paradigm shifting. I heartily recommend the power of a Positive No as well as all the other Ury books on negotiation.
I was pleasantly surprised with this (I read a lot of business books like this). I was expecting a couple of key tactical assists wrapped with dozens of slightly related stories but instead found an excellent background and foundation, and a very actionable yet deep structure. Outstanding book if you are trying to make changes in your life or ever feel like you are being run over.
William Ury is the co-author of the well-known book Getting to YES. In this book he explains how he has come to realize that getting to yes is only half of the picture. Ury even says that "whether and how we say No determines the very quality of our lives." The reason is that word No is indispensible whenever you have to stand up for what really matters to you.Certain situations can create tension between an issue which is important to you and a relatinoship that is also important to you. This tension can make us fall into the three-A trap of Accomodation (saying yes when we mean No), Attacking (responding forcefully) and Avoiding (doing nothing at all). Ury presents the positive No as a way out. In short this means:1. Yes! -> positively and concretely describing your core interests and values2. No. -> explicitely link your no to this YES!3. Yes? -> suggest another positive outcome or agreement to the other personUry goes into much detail about how to prepare, deliver, and follow through your positive No. His style of wrting is crystal clear and his examples are interesting. Some examples are probably very recognizable to many readers (like: how do you say to someone who wants to borrow money from you when you don't want to). Other examples are much grander (how to negotiate in an inter-ethnic conflict) and also interesting. The core idea of this book is very simple and very important. I was perhaps most interested to read Chapter 2 which explain the importance of a Plan B, which is your backup for your prefered outcome. I'll end this review with a quote by the great No-sayer Mahatma Gandhi (which is mentiond on page 7): "A `No' uttered from deepest conviction is better and greater than a `Yes' merely uttered to please or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
I think this is one of the most important books I've read, but time will tell. Before I even finished it, I was planning to re-read it. This is one of those books you need to study and commit to putting into practice, and I expect it will be so worth it. This book is full of lots of useful ideas on how to say no effectively. I want to organize a workshop on it amongst my friends so we can practice it together, using this book.It's also a breeze to read. Ury's other book, "Getting to Yes," is a bit of a slog by comparison, unless you actually work in negotiation. This book is more relevant to the life of the average person.
Everyone MUST read this book even if don't have issues with saying "NO" it will teach all the nips and tricks of how to reaffirm your NO and get others to see your point of you. IF I COULD GIVE THIS BOOK 10 STARS I WOULD.. PAGE TURNER AND A FAIRLY EASY READ! :)
Anyone who has to work or negotiate with others would benefit from using the techniques found in this book. I loke how the author suggests using metaphors during conversations to bring a sense of "we are in this together so lets figure it out before we both end up unhappy."I wish I could report that the techniques always work, but there are are just some people that nothing can be done to sway them to be rational.
Useless drivel. Took samplings of the text and ran it through writing grading systems. Came back a solid junior high level writing level. Don't waste your time. Nonsense you should have learned in grade school or junior high.
No means no, enough is enough, and so on. They are clear examples of 'No' you will find on medias, at work or even in you personal life. And maybe you have realized that these Nos will not ever effective if they don't means something or there are good reasons behind of these NosIn this book you will learn what could make effective a 'No' and a procedure for saying 'No' respectfully and supported by your valuesFinally, this book has been a great chance for learning about the author and other topics like negotiations which I ever expected to learn about. I hope you enjoy as I have done.
Excellent book. Being self employed, I have trouble saying no to Clients. As the writer recommends, I used it with one particular problem in mind and the effect has been transformative. I’ve become much clearer about why I want to say no, how to explain it to the Client, how to reach compromise or walk away if that’s what’s required. I re read it immediately with other issues in mind and been able to see where I’ve gone wrong in the past, or how to say no, both personally and professionally, in the future.
This book is so powerful in itself! I really wish I had read it in the early days of setting up my business as it would have saved me a lot of distressing negotiations with myself first and foremost, before selling myself out to please and accommodate clients. That said it has changed the way I now do business and how I feel so empowered and connected to saying NO but a great solid foundation of yes to myself! Absolutely brilliantly written and yet another excellent book from William Ury.
I've always had trouble with saying no (in fact, I think it's the reason why I'm so shy). I've read this book and kept notes and I've learned that whole point of being able to say "No" to someone first has to come from a "Yes" to your own interests and desires. This book will also teach you how to say "No" to the people you really care about and keep the relationship the way you want it. It may even help strengthen it.I recommend this for anyone who has that problem saying no.
It is amazing to realise how much we can improve our day to day life with just changing the way we express and communicate ourselves.This book really helped me in showing people the real me without making enemies.I will surely buy the other books wrote by the author.
Highly, highly recommend. This is vital reading for all, and will lie amongst the pantheon of life skills books that are missing in schools, universities and the office. Highly practical, digestible and thoroughly well written. Thank you Mr. Ury.
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